CORRUPTION WAR: I’m just minding My Business




Hmmm! Gone are the days when journalists were regarded as the Watch-dogs of the society. These days they are seen as warmongers, trouble markers, peace breakers, homebreakers and rumourmongers especially in my dear country – Nigeria.
So what do you say to that? Oh, if those titles are not enough to make you squirms, then you are tainted already,
you need a “brown envelope” to silence you forever or the hammer on your head, to pronounce you as guilty as charged. There and then it will be too late to take your pen and laptop to a church for deliverance to cast out the demons called journalistic instinct and trouble maker. As for me, I have learnt to mind my business a long time ago though some believe otherwise but there are strictly on their own. I hope you understand?
 I had since given a commandment to my pen; “Thou shall not dabble into any deal that is not your business.” And since then it has been living in total obedience. It shall not discuss politics and the state of the nation except in their own way- just repeat after them; verbatim. Please, propaganda is not my thing so teacher, don’t teach me nonsense…….( Oh oooo, I’m missing Baba Fela!).
They say its fear. No o, I’m not scared, just that I am an orphan. I have been in the Motherless children s’ Club for thirty years now and when my father decided to join his wife in heaven fifteen years ago, he didn’t even me enough notice to prepare myself for the  huge chaos of the Orphan’s  Club. And seriously too, my village is almost not in the Nigeria’s Map though OBJ forgot to cede her to Cameroun, and we thank God. This year, flood showed her mercy but I’m not sure it will not hand her over to the Atlantic Ocean next year. And nobody will be blamed for that because fighting flood was not in the APC’s Agenda but fighting corruption was and a sole item at that so my mouth is shut up.
PMB must kill Corruption so that Corruption will not kill him. So corruption we fight in spite of the economy recession sinking the Nation in a messy quagmire, Boko Haram flying their flag in Borno state (O sorry, I heard they have killed Shekau again and I hope this time he dies a permanent death) and Fulani’s herdsmen are throwing arrows and their weights around wherever the pastures are, unperturbed, hmmmm. Well, I will leave my gaze only on corruption because I am sure that is the root of Nigeria’s present predicament.
They say there is corruption is in every sector, that is why there has been a lot of noise lately, some people have been seeing handcuffs in their nightmares, gbelle! But why the noise? “Arrest! Arrest not! Don’t arrest! Right to arrest! Wrong to arrest! Too big to arrest! Too late to arrest! Too dark to arrest! Too early to arrest!” Hey! What’s that? A friend made me to understand that too many skeletons in the cupboards are bound to produce so much of clanging sound that pollute any peaceful atmosphere and that is called Noise. And she concluded that it’s a face saving kind of thing. It makes sense you know or what do you think? Nevertheless, I will like to tell Corruption to beware of DSS oo, because what EFCC was too reluctant to do since inception, DSS accomplished it in just one night. It does not matter the noise and the heads that roll, what is important is that our Judiciary has become wiser and the is beginning to pay close attention to matters that pertain their affairs especially their welfare and reputation.   
Its so painful to realize that that our corrupt citizens have not taken cognizant of the fact of the saying that “you can’t eat your cake and have it”. All the looted money is either stacks up in Ghana-must-go bags inside their bedrooms and toilets or kept in Switzerland, London and all over the world. Our looted money is used to buy properties or Investments in Dubai, and in every other country that is better than Nigeria. They always come back to steal more forgetting that the money and the oil will finish one day and that is exactly what they have been complaining about in Aso Rock ever since they got there. They say the Treasury is empty and the oil money is gone. And baba wants to borrow and those people are saying no. Some people were captured according to reports and the loots they claim they retrieved from the criminals are only heard on TV and social media.  The money that was used to be shared as monthly allocation is gone and that’s why our governors can’t pay salary. And our dear governors are now like: “what have I gotten myself into” The idea of harvesting in a farm where you did not cultivate is seriously appalling. I learnt they have been told by Baba to think outside the box.  In other words, plan outside allocation. Its time to wave the magic wand. Broom Broom Brooooom!!!
 If not that am trying to mind my business I would have ask the DSS to beam their search light or take their handcuffs to the education sector, now that our Judiciary is ready to sit up. The fact is that I heard some skeletons are dancing “exam malpractice” and directors of schools are aware of the bribe fees.. I mean dance festival. And now students are openly asked to bring “Bride Fee” for WAEC invigilators, whether you are a brilliant student or not. I don’t want to believe the rumour that some EfCC officials are dancing “yahoo ee, yahoo se e” with some internet fraudsters but who will bell the cat? Even what they say about the doctors of privates hospital for making women to pass through Ceaserian operation even when they could have gotten normal delivery, they say that is corruption too. Please DSS or EFCC is that true?
 Are you asking me about police and corruption?  Hmmmm, Na today? but I heard even on the list they are nowhere near the top oo. I don’t want you people to start spreading rumours on facebook , instergram and all what not, that is why I didn’t tell you oo. I heard right now on the Corruption list, the judiciary, the politicians and the military are struggling for the first position. Good. Very soon we will know our champions. EFCC is now connecting the missing monies that BVN couldn’t connect to some accountsYeaaa.. Uhuru!!!  Oh sha rrap!! Its not yet Uhuru.
Please share but do not say I says, I beg of you. After all the skeletons are dancing and clanging everywhere in every cupboard: markets o, Nollywood oo, hospitals oo, schools,NEPA or  what are they called now?Banks and all, and I am not the only one hearing the sound of music.  Who said they are corrupt pastors? Enh who said? Please wait until the case gets to the police station or EFCC, okay?

-Vera Crimes

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