With some court room drama, you will wonder whether the best actors are not found among Nigerian lawyers?
A defence counsel, feeling that his witness was being badgered in the witness box, sprang up to protest the manner of the cross examination. And the following transpired:
Defence Counsel: I object to the manner that counsel is intimidating my witness. The court should disregard the fact that my witness is very big and on the fat side, he's being intimidated by Plaintiff counsel.
Plaintiff counsel: With due respect my Lord, it is my duty to cross examine the witness. It is not my duty to probe if the witness is big for nothing...
Defence counsel (speaking angrily): I take exception to the language of my colleague. He's making disparaging remarks about my witness. He has to apologise!
Plaintiff counsel: I have said nothing wrong. I merely restated what my learned friend told the court that despite the large size of his witness, he is as terrified as a rat in the witness box!
Defence counsel: Objection! I shall be applying that my learned friend be cited for contempt in the face of the court. This is unacceptable! He cannot continue to disparage my witness in defiance to the court! Instead of apologising, he is abusing my witness the more. I cannot take this from him. My witness needs to be protected by this court! Why must he call my witness a rat?
Plaintiff counsel: He is the one calling his witness a rat; I never did.
A defence counsel, feeling that his witness was being badgered in the witness box, sprang up to protest the manner of the cross examination. And the following transpired:
Defence Counsel: I object to the manner that counsel is intimidating my witness. The court should disregard the fact that my witness is very big and on the fat side, he's being intimidated by Plaintiff counsel.
Plaintiff counsel: With due respect my Lord, it is my duty to cross examine the witness. It is not my duty to probe if the witness is big for nothing...
Defence counsel (speaking angrily): I take exception to the language of my colleague. He's making disparaging remarks about my witness. He has to apologise!
Plaintiff counsel: I have said nothing wrong. I merely restated what my learned friend told the court that despite the large size of his witness, he is as terrified as a rat in the witness box!
Defence counsel: Objection! I shall be applying that my learned friend be cited for contempt in the face of the court. This is unacceptable! He cannot continue to disparage my witness in defiance to the court! Instead of apologising, he is abusing my witness the more. I cannot take this from him. My witness needs to be protected by this court! Why must he call my witness a rat?
Plaintiff counsel: He is the one calling his witness a rat; I never did.
Clownish lawyers. I just hope that these people are not given EFCC cases!
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